Weeping

Sin is to produce sorrow in our hearts and with that sorrow we are to repent and turn from our wicked ways. The sorrow comes, the weeping is there, but how does the repentance work? I thought I knew, but repeated sin of the exact same sort too often to mention...surely I haven't grasped the word "repent" and definitely not the turning away. Yet, I know what part of the problem with that is. I know the answer is within the pages of His Word, but do I open it? Do I seek refuge there? No. I pray a distracted prayer and cry myself to sleep... and still feel terrible in the morning, but continue to leave my bible on my little table, unread, unsearched, unknown. I am a sinner. A wretched evildoer that ignores any voice that tells me not to do what I'm about to do. And in God's mercy He has forgiven me. How great is our God.